Welcome to the delightful world of Witty Quotes! Here, we celebrate the art of wit and clever humor through a collection of insightful, humorous, and thought-provoking quotes that are sure to tickle your funny bone and stimulate your intellect. Whether you’re seeking the perfect quote for a social media post, looking to add a touch of humor to your presentations, or simply in need of a good laugh, you’ve come to the right place.
Our curated selection of witty quotes covers a wide range of topics, from life and love to humor and inspiration. These quotes are not only entertaining but also serve as a source of inspiration for those moments when you need a dose of wisdom and humor combined. Feel free to explore our collection and use these quotes as you see fit – you can copy them, create stunning images with them, or enhance them with stylish fonts to share with your friends, family, and followers. So, without further ado, let’s dive into the world of wit and wisdom with our collection of witty quotes below. Enjoy!
Witty inspirations are the proverbs of the educated. Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel
Everything deep is also simple and can be reproduced simply as long as its reference to the whole truth is maintained. But what matters is not what is witty but what is true. Albert Schweitzer
The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss. Robert Orben
One cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty. Jane Austen
Everyone remembers the pop-quiz hotshot bit from ‘Speed’ because it’s extremely funny, and it’s really smart and really witty. And the notion that action movies can have dialogue that pops just as well as the explosions is something that I hope more people continue to remember. Graham Moore
You are wise, witty and wonderful, but you spend too much time reading this sort of stuff. Frank Crane
The witty woman is a tragic figure in American life. Wit destroys eroticism and eroticism destroys wit, so women must choose between taking lovers and taking no prisoners. Florence King
All my brothers and sisters are really witty, and I would just sit back and enjoy them. Bonnie Hunt
If you fight angry, you make a lot of mistakes, and when you fight a sharp, witty fighter like me, you can’t make mistakes. Floyd Mayweather, Jr.
In Korean, my lyrics are witty and have twists. But translated into English, it doesn’t come over. I’ve tried writing in English, just for me, but it doesn’t work. I’ve got to know everything about a culture, and I don’t. Psy
A large nose is in fact the sign of an affable man, good, courteous, witty, liberal, courageous, such as I am. Edmond Rostand
I am romantic, witty, naughty… and I show that in my acting. Dharmendra
I’m hopefully touring with Colin Baker next year in Perfect Strangers. I have performed with Sylvia Simms in poetry and music evenings. I would love to do those for the rest of my career – they are so fun and witty. Louise Jameson
I had a lot of survival jobs. One was for the Witty Ditty singing-telegram company. I was in the red-and-white stripes with the straw boater hat and kazoo. Balloons. Even when you’re sleeping on a friend’s couch, you have to pay some kind of rent. Aaron Sorkin
When I first read ‘Outlander’ a few years ago, I was shocked to find that Jamie was the complete package: incredibly smart, incredibly witty, strong but emotionally vulnerable, passionate to a fault – and, well, the Scottish accent doesn’t hurt! I actually stopped reading at several points to swoon over something he said… he’s really that good. Alexandra Bracken
A woman can be sexy, charming, witty or shy with her shoes. Christian Louboutin
Now, where does my comedy come from, like, as a human being? Yeah, when I was a kid I was dyslexic and had to go to special-ed every day and felt stupid about that and got very witty to defend myself. Dax Shepard
My philosophy towards life is to enjoy it to the fullest and have fun. I am one of those ‘laugh-out-loud’ kinds. I am quirky, yet witty. Bipasha Basu
Bill Gallagher’s new version of ‘The Prisoner’ is an enthralling commentary on modern culture. It is witty, intelligent and disturbing. I am very excited to be involved. Ian Mckellen
Some BuzzFeed articles are written by smart people who use complete sentences. Some of the disposable lists are witty and appear to have taken some effort to put together. Alex Pareene
Wit is the appearance, the external flash of imagination. Thus its divinity, and the witty character of mysticism. Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel
Twitter has restored my faith in humanity. I thought I’d hate it, but while there are lots of knobheads, there are even more lovely people. It delights me how witty and friendly most people are. John Simm
I think that Obama is very cool. And I think he’s clever, and I think he can be witty. But I don’t think he’s funny in either the way that Reagan was funny – or John McCain and Dick Cheney are both funny in that ruthless, kind of mean way. Mo Rocca
I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit. Colin Quinn
My father could be very witty, even if the humor was always on the darker side of irony. Maurice Sendak
My parents have always had a great sense of humor. And I really appreciate good humor in songs, witty lyrics that sneak up on you and then you listen again, and say: ‘That’s so funny.’ John Prine’s songs have always had this really witty tone. Kacey Musgraves
Such is the nature of men, that howsoever they may acknowledge many others to be more witty, or more eloquent, or more learned; yet they will hardly believe there be many so wise as themselves. Thomas Hobbes
I’ve worked a lot with Noah Baumbach, and he doesn’t make it easy to like his characters, but the stories are funny and witty and there’s an edge to that kind of humanity. Ciaran Hinds
A witty saying proves nothing. Voltaire
My goal was becoming the next David Copperfield. I learned how to be a performer by emulating him as a kid – his formula of just talking to people onstage, being free to improvise, being charming and witty with a crowd, together with great, beautiful magic. Michael Carbonaro
I love John Updike immoderately. I am profoundly shocked that he has gone because he was, for me, the greatest American writer of the second half of the 20th century. He was also a gracious, charming, and witty man. Justin Cartwright
There is still a lot to be said for the well-made, witty, clever, three-act comedy. Terry Teachout
Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was onstage because he would say nasty things. Dave Foley’s very funny, very witty guy, very quick. Joe Rogan
I am attracted to intelligence, a witty sense of humor, an adventurous outlook on life and spiritual awareness about one’s self and the world. Tanit Phoenix
Music can be witty, but it’s not funny unless it’s conceptually funny. Alan Menken
I’m not witty. Claire Denis
It was great fun to hang around the Beatles. They had amazingly fast minds, and they were incredibly amusing and funny and witty. They were great. There was a very high energy surrounding them. Pattie Boyd
Conquered people tend to be witty. Saul Bellow
John F. Kennedy brought style and charisma to the White House and a first family that captivated the country: a handsome, witty president, an elegant first lady, and two adorable young children. Kitty Kelley
The middle class is doing fine in fiction. But it’s not what gets me going. I love the working class, and everyone from it I’ve met, and think they’re incredibly witty, inventive – there’s a lot of poetry there. Martin Amis
No, sir, I’m not saying that charming, witty and warm copy won’t sell. I’m just saying I’ve seen thousands of charming, witty campaigns that didn’t sell. Rosser Reeves
Never try to be witty with U.S. airport officials. It’s always lost on them and you’ll find yourself being put back on the plane. Johnny Vegas
You can’t pretend to be witty because wit is dry, subtle, lacerating, cynical, elitist, and risque – all impossible to fake. Humor, on the other hand, is broad, soothing, positive, inclusive, and smutty – to make sure everybody gets it. Pretending to be humorous is easy, and a great many people are doing it. Florence King
Many a witty inspiration is like the surprising reunion of befriended thoughts after a long separation. Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel
I like my man to be witty; he needs a sense of humour and needs to be extremely well-mannered. Esha Gupta
Honestly, I had no idea what to do on Twitter when I started. I didn’t follow it enough. Slowly, though, I started to realize what I’m okay at. Like, I’m just not particularly witty. David Grann
Nothing is more witty and grotesque than ancient mythology and Christianity; that is because they are so mystical. Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel
In fact, to gull a fool seems to me an exploit worthy of a witty man. Giacomo Casanova
My mother was a terrific force in my life. Wartime-generation woman, hadn’t gone to university but should have done. Was very funny, very verbal, very clever, very witty. Ian Hislop
Generally speaking, there is more wit than talent in the world. Society swarms with witty people who lack talent. Antoine Rivarol
A large nose is the mark of a witty, courteous, affable, generous and liberal man. Cyrano de Bergerac
A word of kindness is seldom spoken in vain, while witty sayings are as easily lost as the pearls slipping from a broken string. George Dennison Prentice
This is one of his most human and most amusing and witty novels. The characters are very Indian. I decided that I wanted to do a comedy, so this was just the right one. Ismail Merchant
To be witty is not enough. One must possess sufficient wit to avoid having too much of it. Andre Maurois
I’m no prude. I like a witty innuendo, too. Agnes Moorehead
You can pretend to be serious; but you can’t pretend to be witty. Sacha Guitry
A woman may have a witty tongue or a stinging pen but she will never laugh at her own individual shortcomings. Irvin S. Cobb
It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is more difficult to be witty every day than to say pretty things from time to time. Honore de Balzac
There’s no possibility of being witty without a little ill-nature. Richard Brinsley Sheridan
I know the bestseller ‘Gone Girl’ doesn’t need an ounce of support from me, but that book was as sharp and witty as they come. Jami Attenberg
I look for fun and smarts – a witty, strong sexy woman. Josh Dallas
I did buy ‘The Sun’ a few times, but I just don’t read the tabloids. Sometimes they can have genius witty headlines, but that’s all. There’s nothing to read. Lucy Punch
In major studio scripts, the girls are very similar. They’re all witty and hot. I’m more of an oddball. Riley Keough
Usually when people see me, they see me as more of the soft-spoken one rather than being the witty, smart-tongued character. Amy Acker
Better a witty fool than a foolish wit. William Shakespeare
Every Brit I met had the best sense of humor. They’re hilarious: very dry and witty. Merritt Patterson
You can’t just be crass without being witty. Angry crass is horrible. Ali Wong
I’ve been enjoying ‘Life on the Mississippi’ by Mark Twain that I picked up at the airport randomly. It’s very witty and interesting to read about his time as a steamboat pilot. Roman Coppola
Courtship is to marriage, as a very witty prologue to a very dull play. William Congreve
A transposable aphorism is a malaise of the urge to be witty, or in other words, a maxim that is untroubled by the fact that the opposite of what it says is equally true so long as it appears to be funny. Umberto Eco
The characters can’t be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty. Dylan Moran
I might’ve been witty, but I didn’t have a shtick. So, I never considered myself a comedian. Scott Adsit
Nowadays three witty turns of phrase and a lie make a writer. Georg C. Lichtenberg
I think Irish women are strong as horses, incredibly loyal and for the most part, funny, witty, bright and optimistic in the face of devastating reality. Fionnula Flanagan
Music has shaped men’s fashion, and transposed in a playful and witty manner its riding or military heritage. It is difficult to figure out who leads, but music and fashion are connected genetically. Hedi Slimane
A secondhand wardrobe hand clothes doesn’t make one an artist. Neither do a hair-trigger temper, melancholic nature, propensity for tears, hating your parents, or HIV. I hate to say it – none of these make one an artist. They can help, but just as being gay doesn’t make one witty… the only thing that makes one an artist is making art. David Rakoff
Whether I’m writing a novel about a guy mourning the death of his father or whether I’m writing a show about people killing each other, you want to hear characters speak and be funny and witty. Jonathan Tropper
There is an element of seduction in shoes that doesn’t exist for men. A woman can be sexy, charming, witty or shy with her shoes. Christian Louboutin
I wouldn’t even dare read the Torah, let alone attempt a witty observation on the Torah. Charles Grodin
Though lust do masque in ne’er so strange disguise she’s oft found witty, but is never wise. John Webster
I often feel I’m a disappointment to people because they expect me to be the guy in the books. When I sit next to someone at a dinner party I can see they expect me to be quick and witty, and I’m not at all. Bill Bryson
I’m shy. I am. I mean, if I get around, you know, in a room of a bunch of people especially I – you know, I don’t know or – it takes me a while to warm up. I’m – and the real me, I’m not as witty as, you know, as the comic Wanda. The comic, she’s had time to work on some things. Wanda Sykes
If it were not for the company of fools, a witty man would often be greatly at a loss. Francois de La Rochefoucauld
A witty woman is a treasure; a witty beauty is a power. George Meredith
Zimbabweans are so smart and witty and able to weave together tons of situations and experiences into terminologies that are just utterly original. Danai Gurira
Years and years ago, I did a game based on ‘Hitchhiker’s Guide’ with a company called Infocom, which was a great company. They were doing witty, intelligent, literate games based on text. Douglas Adams
I most enjoyed doing ‘Whites,’ a show BBC2 cancelled after one series. It had some beautiful, witty, charming scripts and was one of the most positive ensemble pieces I’ve done. I thought the end result was really special. I’m still confused about why it didn’t last longer. Darren Boyd
My senior year of high school, I was voted ‘Wittiest.’ So, several years later, I decided to try my hand at writing humor to see if I could be witty enough to make some money. Barbara Park
Dating involves being witty and charming and making reservations at fabulous restaurants. Marriage involves compromise… something that sounded to me like a combo of castor oil and settling. Alisyn Camerota
Today there are millions of people making stuff and putting it into the world: that’s become part of our identity and it shouldn’t be limited to people who fancy themselves writers, or who are particularly witty or talented. David Karp
I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the ‘Three Stooges’ were geniuses. They’d have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long. Paula Poundstone
What I don’t like is snark for snark’s sake. If you are going to make fun of me, at least be witty while doing it. Tim Ferriss
Judges ought to be more leaned than witty, more reverent than plausible, and more advised than confident. Above all things, integrity is their portion and proper virtue. Francis Bacon
People who can’t be witty exert themselves to be devout and affectionate. George Eliot
Howard Zinn was magical as a teacher. Witty, irreverent, and wise, he loved what he was teaching and clearly wanted his students to love it, also. Alice Walker
There’s a real emphasis on being witty in Scotland, even in crime novels. Denise Mina
I like Kendrick as an artist. He’s witty and he’s smart when he’s spitting in his lyrics. And he’s crafty. Redman
Comedy has to be done en clair. You can’t blunt the edge of wit or the point of satire with obscurity. Try to imagine a famous witty saying that is not immediately clear. James Thurber
They sit there in committees day after day, And they each put in a color and it comes out gray. And we all have heard the saying, which is true as well as witty, That a camel is a horse that was designed by a committee. Allan Sherman
I was brought up by very witty people who were dealing with quite difficult things: disease and death… I was brought up by people who tended to giggle at funerals. Emma Thompson