Welcome to the realm of wit and wisdom encapsulated in the humorous musings of Mike Birbiglia. Renowned for his distinctive comedic style and insightful storytelling, Mike Birbiglia has carved a niche for himself in the world of stand-up comedy and entertainment. With his endearing charm and razor-sharp observational humor, Birbiglia has captivated audiences across the globe, earning accolades and admiration for his unique perspective on everyday life.
Born and raised in Massachusetts, Birbiglia’s journey into the world of comedy began during his college years, where he discovered his passion for making people laugh. Over the years, he honed his craft, transitioning from small comedy clubs to larger venues and eventually gaining widespread recognition through his stand-up specials, comedy albums, and appearances on television and film. Through his candid and often self-deprecating anecdotes, Birbiglia invites audiences to find humor in the absurdity of human experiences, offering a refreshing take on the trials and tribulations of modern existence.
Prepare to embark on a journey of laughter and insight as we delve into a curated collection of memorable Mike Birbiglia quotes. From tales of awkward encounters to profound reflections on life’s complexities, Birbiglia’s words are sure to resonate with audiences of all backgrounds. Whether you’re seeking a dose of humor or a moment of introspection, these quotes are bound to entertain and inspire.
When I moved to New York, I was wide-eyed. I was nice to everyone, which comedians hate. Mike Birbiglia
You can’t go to medical school and come out and be like, ‘I’m going to be a dog catcher.’ That would be so pointless. Mike Birbiglia
Jokes are so personal, and they bring us together in so many ways. Mike Birbiglia
I feel like everyone wants to make a movie that they feel passionate about watching. Mike Birbiglia
Essentially, retweets are like laughs. Mike Birbiglia
I’ve read that Steven Wright’s style was born out of genuine nervousness. Mike Birbiglia
Every sleep doctor I’ve talked to said it was an urban legend that you shouldn’t wake up a sleepwalker. All that will happen is that you will get condescended to. Mike Birbiglia
In real life, I first started sleep walking in high school because that was when this concept of getting into college first appeared. I had this moment of, ‘Oh! This is going to affect the rest of my life.’ Mike Birbiglia
The thing with film is that it’s so wide-reaching compared to comedy. When I release my comedy special, half a million people will see it. If I release a movie, five to ten million people will see it. Mike Birbiglia
I always live tweet ‘SNL.’ Mike Birbiglia
I was completely unqualified to get into Harvard. But then I went to my interview for Harvard, and the woman asked, ‘Why do you want to go here?’ And I took out all of my comedy writing samples that I had done. I couldn’t have been more delusional in terms of what I thought they wanted in a candidate for college. Mike Birbiglia
Dopamine is a chemical released in your brain and your body when you sleep that paralyzes your body so you don’t act out your dreams. Mike Birbiglia
Creepy people do the things that decent people want to do, but have decided are not a great idea. Mike Birbiglia
The ability to workshop in stand-up comedy is incomparable to any art form, in my opinion. Mike Birbiglia
I majored in screenwriting and playwriting in school – and wanted to make films as a career. But when I directed my first short in college – which was called ‘Extras’ – I lost thousands of dollars and made an unsatisfying and incomplete film. Mike Birbiglia
Sometimes you’ll have a heckler who’s actually attempting to be supportive, but you don’t realize it. Their way of expressing it is kind of confusing. Mike Birbiglia
Pain is funnier than love. Mike Birbiglia
Sometimes my fans are too nice. Mike Birbiglia
Ultimately, jokes are this really special thing that we can all share. It’s exciting to have basically a thousand people in a room together that can laugh at the same time, but I think of it almost as, like, a religious experience. Mike Birbiglia
The Comedy Central CDs combined with the TV specials are what led to my stuff being traded and passed around, and a lot more people knowing my jokes than I thought. Mike Birbiglia
I always try to attack the most honest issues I can in my comedy. Mike Birbiglia
I’ve yet to write a stand-up show that isn’t autobiographical. Mike Birbiglia
When I go to bed at night, I wear a sleeping bag. And for a long time, I wore mittens so that I couldn’t open the sleeping bag. Mike Birbiglia
I’m unable to do the thing that Broadway actors do in plays, sometimes for years. The same exact blocking, the same exact lines. I’m a little bit uncomfortable with that. Every night I’m looking for ways to try something else. Mike Birbiglia
I always have the best story at the party. Anyone telling a story at a party is like, ‘No, no, you’ve got to listen to my story!’ I’m like, ‘Step aside, everybody. I’m going to blow the doors off this place.’ Mike Birbiglia
Media is so weird; everything is so accessible now. It used to be this thing where, if you did something on ‘This American Life,’ this predates me, but when David Sedaris did it, for example, it would just play, people who heard it heard it, and then the book would come out a year later, and people would be like, ‘Ahh, I kind of remember that.’ Mike Birbiglia
The list of fun and easily-fixed brain diseases is very short. Mike Birbiglia
I love Broadway shows. Mike Birbiglia
Prose is all about embellishing and describing. Mike Birbiglia
If I dream that I’m directing, it’s not a film, it’s like a commercial for cotton candy, and I’ve got four feet of cotton candy all around me that I’ve got to break through, like a brick wall or a fortress. Mike Birbiglia
After I perform ‘My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend,’ it takes a lot out of me emotionally; and, at the end of it, I feel like I know the audience and the audience knows me. It’s this weird unspoken bond that we’ll kind of always have with each other. Mike Birbiglia
Once you start writing something obsessively, it’s almost like someone has to rip it from your hands in order for you to put it down. Mike Birbiglia
When I was in high school I saw Steven Wright, a brilliant one-liner comedian, and I thought: ‘That’s what I should do; I should write one-liners.’ And I did. My first album is mostly one-liners. Mike Birbiglia
I was a screenwriting major at Georgetown, and I was in class with some really strong writers like Jonathan Nolan, who co-wrote ‘The Dark Knight’ with Chris, his brother. He wrote ‘The Prestige,’ the story for ‘Memento.’ Mike Birbiglia
When I was in college, I wanted to write for ‘Late Night With Conan O’Brien,’ and I was an intern there. Mike Birbiglia
Someone said to me at a party once, ‘Oh, yeah, you’re a comedian? Then how come you’re not funny now?’ And I just wanted to say, ‘Well, I’m just going to take this conversation we’re having and then repeat that to strangers, and then that’s the joke. You’re the joke later.’ Mike Birbiglia
The economy of film forces you to make choices. Mike Birbiglia
Film is so immersive. Mike Birbiglia
I feel that marriage can lead to the ultimate rejection and failure and divorce and things we all fear. Mike Birbiglia
I gravitated toward stand-up because there’s no overhead. I mean, literally, there’s no overhead: Often, you’re outdoors performing in front of groups of people. Mike Birbiglia
Once you know how to make a movie, you can’t not make a movie. Mike Birbiglia
Making a film is beyond exciting. It’s so exciting, it’s exhausting. Mike Birbiglia
When I started out, I really struggled as a comic because no one knew who I was, and sometimes I was telling stories, so it would take a while for people to get on board for things. Mike Birbiglia
I love ‘Bullets Over Broadway,’ but I’m pretty sure Woody Allen hasn’t killed somebody. Mike Birbiglia
I would be so mad if I saw something called a memoir, and then it was Mike Birbiglia. It would be so infuriating. It’s like, ‘Who is this guy, and why does he have a memoir?’ David Letterman could write a memoir. Joan Rivers could. I’m just a nobody. I’m a comedian and a writer. Mike Birbiglia
I find my fans are really funny people. Most comedians can’t say that about their fans. Mike Birbiglia
Sometimes people say, ‘You’re the best at digressions.’ And that’s actually a real compliment to me. Mike Birbiglia
If you tried to sell Mike Birbiglia as a concept, no one would buy it. Mike Birbiglia
My first car was, as depicted in ‘Sleepwalk with Me,’ my mother’s ’92 Volvo station wagon that had 80,000 miles on it, and I had put 40,000 miles on it, so by the time it retired it had 120,000, and I basically killed it. It served me well, and my mechanic was always very angry with me because I just didn’t properly care for it. Mike Birbiglia
You don’t really see sleepwalking in films that often. It’s weird; I feel like in popular culture we have the perception of sitcom, arms-in-front-of-your-body sleepwalking, and then maybe Olive Oil and Popeye when she sleepwalks through the construction site. But it’s all very cartoonish, in some cases literally. Mike Birbiglia
The Hollywood model is to develop scripts for 10 years, sell them, transfer them, attach this actor, then attach a director. This isn’t what I’m about. I’m much more of a creator and a doer. Mike Birbiglia
Someone gave me a piece of advice once, my first manager Lucien Hold. He said, ‘If you do stand-up about your own life, no one can steal it.’ I always thought that was the best piece of advice. Mike Birbiglia
I never looked at my parents’ marriage or really anyone who had been married more than 30 years and thought, ‘I gotta get me some of that!’ Mike Birbiglia
I’m generally so disoriented during the week about what I’m doing and where I am – I travel a lot – that when I’m home on a Sunday, I typically try to sleep in as much as I can. Mike Birbiglia
‘Terminator 2’ is so good. I love it. Mike Birbiglia
There’s something about small venues that’s amazing for developing material. It’s almost like you can not only hear people’s response, but you can understand it. In bigger venues you lose that, but you gain this sense of camaraderie in the audience. Mike Birbiglia
I think serious situations actually make for the best kind of belly laughs. But they’re also the hardest to convert into comedy at the outset. Mike Birbiglia
I am diagnosed with what’s called ‘REM behavior disorder.’ As far as the disorder goes, there’s no cure, but it’s going pretty well as far as these things go. I see a sleep doctor, take medication, etc. Mike Birbiglia
I actually wasn’t really the class clown growing up. The class clown was always the mean guy who walked up and was like, ‘You’re fat. You’re gay. I’m outta here!’ I was always more kind of awkward and introspective. Mike Birbiglia
It sounds so nerdy and pathetic, but what I always do on Sunday afternoon is bring my inbox down to zero, which is so sad. But e-mail has become like homework for adults. I’ll have 141 messages from people who will be offended if I don’t write back. Mike Birbiglia
Sometimes, occasionally, people will make out in the audience, completely not aware that there’s a human being onstage just yards away from them, who can see them. Sometimes people think that you’re on television while you’re onstage, so you’re not even a person. Mike Birbiglia
Everything about starting out in comedy is pride-swallowing, from handing out fliers to bombing in front of audiences. Mike Birbiglia
How many people do you know who have thrown up on the Scrambler or a carnival ride? A lot of people, is the answer. Mike Birbiglia
I sometimes think of not doing Twitter or Facebook anymore, but that’s how people find their favorite bands and comedians. Mike Birbiglia
In some sense, Comedy Central has made their audience into comedy connoisseurs. Mike Birbiglia
I feel like being a door person was like college in a sense. I could watch comedy on a professional level seven nights a week without paying, and they would pay me a nominal amount of money to be there. Mike Birbiglia
First time films are hard. Even with some of the greatest directors, you look back at their first film, and you are just going, ‘That movie is kind of bad.’ Mike Birbiglia
My last name has the word ‘big’ in it. It seems like a logical progression that if you shed away the Bir and the lia, I’ll just be Big. Mike Birbiglia
I’ve found, being in Los Angeles, it’s like living in a live-action Planet Hollywood. Mike Birbiglia
I have a following, but it’s small. I have this level of fame where people spot me in the airport, consistently, but they always think they’re the only one who ever has. People will think they win a prize when they recognize me. Mike Birbiglia
It’s a difficult line to tread, where sometimes you go to the movies or you watch someone do publicity for movies or TV shows, and they do all the jokes that are good in the promotion of it, and you see the movie, and you’re like, ‘I kind of get it already. I’m not that psyched about it.’ Mike Birbiglia
I’m going to end up making twenty films if people let me. Mike Birbiglia
Over the years, I managed to develop this comedy career, went from opening act to headliner at comedy clubs, to playing concert halls, and had an off-Broadway show with ‘Sleepwalk With Me.’ Mike Birbiglia
Shooting a movie isn’t good for a sleep disorder. Mike Birbiglia
I’ve actually always wanted to write like a one-person show that was sort of a romantic comedy – a show that was kind of cynical about romance and marriage but ultimately embraced it. Because I feel like comedy is always cynical, inherently, because it’s contrarian. Mike Birbiglia
Once you’ve made your first feature, you know what you can do wrong and how hard it is to shoot a feature. Before you do it, you just don’t know how hard it is. Once you’ve done it, when you’re writing a second one, it’s almost like you’re preparing, and it’s almost holding you back. Mike Birbiglia
Sometimes I’ll go to the grocery store and buy a bunch of groceries as though I knew how to cook, which I don’t, and as though I was going to be home for the next six days, which I won’t. Mike Birbiglia
My dad goes through war novels like I go through boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Mike Birbiglia
Directing a movie is a little bit like being back in student government and putting on the homecoming dance. You’re like, ‘You put up the streamers, and you hire the DJ, and you get the punch bowl.’ Some people are just like, ‘This dance sucks.’ And you’re like, ‘No no, this dance is awesome!’ You have to be really positive. Mike Birbiglia
I’d much rather try and fail than talk about trying. Mike Birbiglia
I couldn’t recommend more that people put themselves in a situation where they can see a lot of work that they admire, and for free. Mike Birbiglia
I love Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel. Mike Birbiglia
I’ve become good friends with Lena Dunham, and the thing I had in common with Lena when I was 24 is I was as ambitious as she was. What we don’t have in common is that I was not as talented. My voice was not as clearly defined. Mike Birbiglia
You know the quickest way to get comedians to hate you? Do Letterman at age 24. Mike Birbiglia
If you’re asked something on a movie set and you say ‘I don’t know,’ you lose confidence in every department. What you need to say is ‘I’ll have that for you in five minutes.’ Mike Birbiglia
It used to be that if you got on ‘The Tonight Show,’ your career was made. Now, if you’re on ‘The Tonight Show,’ maybe 14 more people show up to your gig in Tulsa. Mike Birbiglia
I got out of school in 2000, and I always wanted to be on ‘This American Life,’ since I first started telling stories. And that, I mean, that show is a little bit of a fortress. It’s really hard to get stuff on that show. Mike Birbiglia
I end up talking about really mundane things with my fans, and then they’re kind of like, ‘This is boring. I want to go talk to somebody else.’ I think I bore my fans to death by over-talking to them. Mike Birbiglia
The way I view comedy clubs is, people are drinking, they’re ordering food, they’re out for the night, and there’s also a person onstage talking. And with the theater, they came to the theater, and they’re waiting to hear what you say. So you’d better have something to say. Mike Birbiglia
It’s interesting how sleepwalking in a certain way becomes an accumulation of your outside stimuli that’s actually there and what’s happening in your brain. Mike Birbiglia
I just like, when you look at people who have long careers in film, they’re able to make films that are far away from themselves, because they’re metaphorical. It creates more opportunities, I think. Mike Birbiglia
People are making better and better small budge independent films these days. Mike Birbiglia
The moment I walk into a room, I have kind of like the Terminator’s tracking system for where the food is, and I can get there immediately. Mike Birbiglia
Fortunately, I don’t talk about politics on stage. Mike Birbiglia
What I always studied in screenwriting from my mentor John Glavin was that the most interesting characters are characters with shades of gray. Mike Birbiglia
My wife and I always comment that our lives are relatively mundane. She’s a writer as well, I’m a writer, we spend most of our time writing, and kind of going to yoga in Brooklyn. Mike Birbiglia
Nothing that you want ever is what you think it is. Mike Birbiglia
I love pizza. I want to marry it, but it would just be to eat her family at the wedding. Mike Birbiglia
I am intimidating no one in America. No one feels like they are below me in any way. They feel like they are absolutely either at or above my level and 100-percent comfortable talking to me. Mike Birbiglia
As a comedian, you want people to like you. That’s part of why you’re there in the first place: You have this unquenchable need to be liked, and then when you divert from that and take a chance at doing something that has moments of fierce unlikeability, you can hit some real low points. Mike Birbiglia