Welcome to our collection of jokes quotes! Laughter is the universal language that knows no bounds, and what better way to spread joy and amusement than through a well-crafted joke? Whether you’re in need of a good chuckle to brighten your day or looking for some witty banter to share with friends and family, you’ve come to the right place. In this curated selection of jokes quotes, we’ve gathered an assortment of clever quips, humorous anecdotes, and witty one-liners that are sure to tickle your funny bone. From classic stand-up comedy to timeless comedic wisdom, there’s something here to elicit a grin or a guffaw from everyone. So, sit back, relax, and prepare to be entertained by the finest humor the world has to offer!
Below, you’ll find a treasure trove of jokes quotes waiting to be discovered and shared. Whether you want to brighten someone’s day by sending them a witty message, create a hilarious meme to share on social media, or simply enjoy a good laugh on your own, these quotes are here to inspire you. Feel free to copy them, place them on an image, or enhance them with stylish fonts to make them uniquely yours. Let the laughter begin!
I’m 100 percent convinced that Pablo Escobar was a human being. And he was a very interesting one. For sure, he was a very, very, very mean and awful human being in many senses, but he wasn’t an alien. He was a person. He had friends; people laughed at his jokes. And he was a very contradictory person as well. Wagner Moura
I’m terrible at practical jokes. I do them too well, so they’re not funny. I end up saying, ‘Oh, no, I’m joking, I’m joking.’ Anna Torv
My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics’ heads, where they are safe. Emo Philips
My mom was like, ‘Get your law degree first, become a lawyer, and then you can tell jokes on the weekends. You can be a lawyer and just throw jokes into your presentations.’ Now she’s like, ‘Listen, you need to come up with new material.’ All of a sudden, my mom’s a critic. Maz Jobrani
People may think I’m trying something new by telling stories, but they’re just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That’s what I do. Steven Wright
A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes. Ludwig Wittgenstein
Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive. Stella Benson
It’s not like we have a formula, but I think one of the reasons this show has survived is that it has a big heart at its center. Other cartoon shows have people crap on each other and make racist jokes. But I don’t think people tune in for that. I just don’t think a show lasts for 10 years without a heart. Trey Parker
I’m just not the outgoing bubble of energy. But if I know you, it’s different. Practical jokes. Have fun. I’m not looking for any new friends. I got my friends. Eric Dickerson
Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude. Frank Muir
When I was 12, my friend and I tried to sneak onto a plane from my hometown of Cleveland to New York City! My dad encouraged us – he was a wild guy, big on jokes. Molly Shannon
When you are in a room and your job is to write jokes 10 hours a day, your mind starts going to strange places. Seth MacFarlane
For every ten jokes you acquire a hundred enemies. Laurence Sterne
I was a sign language interpreter from when I was 17, but I don’t do that anymore. Both of my parents were deaf. I grew up in a deaf household. I don’t do any jokes about it really, but yeah that was my day job. Moshe Kasher
I know that drummers tend to be the butt of a thousand jokes, usually from the uninformed and untalented, but I always felt I had an important role. Roger Taylor
I’ve always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can’t tell to an audience. There’s a fine line you have to tread because you don’t know who is out there in the auditorium. A lot of people are too easily offended. Billy Connolly
I am edgy, raw, offensive, vulgar, untruthful, but intelligent. My jokes are always realistic. I do not make fun of children or people who cannot fight back. That is my limitation. Vir Das
The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke. Don’t tell me jokes – I have that. People also say the weirdest things, sometimes sarcastic things, and even evil things. They like to provoke to get a reaction. Robin Williams
I’m not good at anything except writing jokes. I wasn’t good at sports, I wasn’t good at anything artsy, ever. I think there was a real worry for a while about what I would be good at. I was just this chubby little Indian kid who looked like a nerd. Mindy Kaling
I don’t want to go and start trying to make jokes in places like India, Tanzania or Iraq. Afghanistan is not a funny place. Bill Bryson
From as long as, literally as far back as I can remember I’ve liked puns, word jokes, I can literally recall looking at a comic at the age of six or seven and I remember what I enjoyed and what it was precisely and how the joke worked. Tom Stoppard
All I do is have fun. When I’m not working, it’s about making people laugh. I love making jokes about things. Even when someone’s mad at me, I’ll deflect anger with humor. My days are filled with laughter. If I’m not laughing, I’m not happy. Drew Fuller
Jokes are so personal, and they bring us together in so many ways. Mike Birbiglia
When I hit the scene, there was Billy Connolly and Max Boyce. It was all mother-in-law and Irish jokes, and we broke the mould. Now there are thousands of comedians out there, and I don’t think I can be above it all. Jasper Carrott
Jokes rot. They’re not like songs. I always envy singers – Sting is always going to sing ‘Roxanne’. But people want to hear new jokes. I’ve written jokes as good as ‘Roxanne’, I believe. But I can’t tell them again. Chris Rock
There’s a theory with comedy that you shouldn’t do anything that’s too topical in your specials because people won’t be able to watch them in five years. But I look at Trump in the same way I look at Mr. T. I can watch comedy jokes about Mr. T in the ’80s and still understand what they’re talking about. Jim Jefferies
I want to tell my jokes. I want to have time with my children. I want to entertain people. And at one point, I’ll walk away from show business. But I don’t want to walk away empty-handed. Dave Chappelle
Even ‘Lord of the Rings’ had dwarf-tossing jokes in it. It’s like, ‘Really?’ Peter Dinklage
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I’ll forgive Thy great big joke on me. Robert Frost
I tend to have a lot of jokes about ex-girlfriends. They always ask me if they will be the subject of a joke, and I always tell them they won’t. Unless they do something crazy. They all tend to, so you know where that goes. There are no closed doors. The ‘art’ will suffer. Adam DeVine
I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. Will Rogers
A civil servant doesn’t make jokes. Eugene Ionesco
The subconscious doesn’t distinguish sarcasm and jokes. It just accepts what it hears. That’s the power of words. India Arie
Tommy Lee Jones is hilarious. I would say, if you look at the body of his work, the character he is most like is the one in ‘The Fugitive.’ That’s how he talks and jokes. That is the type of energy he has. Will Smith
I sent an ex of mine an enormous oil painting of me as a housewarming gift. It was one of the most elaborate and time-consuming practical jokes I’ve ever done. Sue Perkins
I’m not big on fat jokes. That’s a little beneath me. I’m not a huge fan of making a joke – and as I say this, I’m sure I do it – completely at someone else’s expense. Michael Showalter
I’m one of the people who actually laughs at everyone else’s jokes! Russell Howard
Sometimes people get passionate about the obscure jokes. Martin Short
Most jokes state a bitter truth. Larry Gelbart
I enjoy jokes, smiling, and making people smile. I may be a little different, but that’s OK, who wants to be normal anyway? Tim Duncan
All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. Mitch Hedberg
Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections. George Eliot
I think everyone wants to know why I look like this. These jokes I make about looking Chinese… My mother’s from Hungary and my dad was from Canada. There’s a lot of immigration in my past. Michael McIntyre
Most young comedians would be lying to say that they weren’t huge Weird Al fans when they were kids. Weird Al is probably the first person I ever realized had a career that was just making jokes. Trevor Moore
Every now and then, when I think about it, I think, ‘What would I even talk about onstage?’ It’s never been, ‘I wonder if I’m funny. I wonder if I can come up with jokes.’ It’s more, ‘What would it be like without the leather suit and the anger?’ Eddie Murphy
Early on, I had a girlfriend come see me, and she was like, ‘Yeah, it was good, but you were funny at a dining hall at the University of Maryland.’ That’s when I realized I was contrived. I was reciting jokes. So I really worked on – no matter what – sounding like I was just talking to the people. Ari Shaffir
In Israel, waves of anger and fear circulate all the time, but so do jokes and gossip and silky evening breezes. So, too, in America. P. J. O’Rourke
I don’t mind making jokes, but I don’t want to look like one. Marilyn Monroe
I think all art – even one as lowly as making jokes about celebrities – is there to make a connection. Ricky Gervais
Many old music hall fans were present at the funeral today of Fred ‘Chuckles’ Jenkins, Britain’s oldest and unfunniest comedian. In tribute, the vicar read out one of Fred’s jokes, and the congregation had two minutes silence. Ronnie Barker
I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I’d go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on ‘Laugh-In,’ Flip Wilson. Bernie Mac
It was a somber place, haunted by old jokes and lost laughter. Life, as I discovered, holds no more wretched occupation than trying to make the English laugh. Malcolm Muggeridge
All I care about is making jokes that are funny and making people laugh. Joel McHale
Sure, I’m sensitive about my weight. I don’t do fat jokes. John Candy
I’m standing behind a wall of jokes. You don’t know about my personal life, my girlfriends, or what I do when I’m not on the road. There’s this guy, this comedian, and this is how he thinks, but people really don’t know anything about me. Steven Wright
We are almost in a time beyond jokes, beyond satire. When the Trump era is called the ‘post-truth’ period, then this is the greatest joke of all, albeit quite depressing. Bill Bailey
Jokes are grievances. Marshall McLuhan
The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible. David Ogilvy
Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant. Washington Irving
If people get their feelings hurt from jokes, then they are too delicate to be in society. Ralphie May
I don’t know how to tell a joke. I never tell jokes. I can tell stories that happened to me… anecdotes. But never a joke. Lucille Ball
I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb… and I also know that I’m not blonde. Dolly Parton
If you let go of fart jokes, you’ve let go of a piece of humanity. Andy Samberg
Ninety-nine percent is in the delivery. If you have the right voice and the right delivery, you’re cocky enough, and you pound down on the punch line, you can say anything and make people laugh maybe three times before they realize you’re not telling jokes. Buddy Hackett
I’ve actually phased out the misogynistic jokes because I used to think that everyone knew that I was joking. Jim Jefferies
I always thought I was a good person, a decent person. I never harassed anyone or touched anyone. And you say to yourself , ‘Oh, that’s good enough,’ but yes, I had certain jokes that I always assumed the audience would understand. This is Persona. Jim Jefferies
I feel like I’m a child of the Internet, and the Internet has raised me, and its jokes might not be appropriate at certain times. So, I keep them locked inside. Naomi Osaka
I detest jokes – when somebody tells me one, I feel my IQ dropping; the brain cells start to disappear. But something is funny when the person delivering the line doesn’t know it’s funny or doesn’t treat it as a joke. Maybe it comes from a place of truth, or it’s a sort of rage against society. Johnny Depp
It seems to me that romantic comedies used to be about falling in love, but in recent years they’ve really become just comedies where the love story is only there as a spine to hang the jokes on. Nigel Cole
We humans are not born alone; joining and being active in a club whose members share your passion for ideas and get your jokes is one of the great joys of life. Richard Lederer
I made so many jokes about poor Russell Crowe, he once knocked on my dressing room door, and told me he wanted to go out on this chat show we were on to laugh with me. Now he’s ruined it. I can’t make another joke about him. Joan Rivers
Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny. Alan King
Given a little time for the pain to subside, dreadful experiences often can be the basis of funny jokes or stories. Steve Allen
I just try to be as nice as possible and make fun of myself and laugh at the jokes. Mikaela Shiffrin
There’s a glorious sense of freedom in comedy, just allowing myself to tell jokes, allowing myself to interrupt myself and tell old African folk stories that I made up – or didn’t – and Jamaican stories. Neil Gaiman
I don’t do plays without jokes anymore. I’ve retired from those plays. I think it’s bad manners to invite people to sit in the dark for two and a half hours and not tell them the joke. Bill Nighy
I would write 100 jokes a day. Most of them were terrible. But I just said, ‘I’ll write more than everybody else, and that’s how I’ll get better.’ Anthony Jeselnik
Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives. Robert Collier
People make jokes about my bosoms, why don’t they look underneath the breasts at the heart? It’s obvious I’ve got big ones and if people want to assume they’re not mine, then let them. Dolly Parton
I tell a lot of fart and poop jokes. I can’t help it. I have no filter, and it just comes out. Tyler Posey
To me, the highest expression of life is art with jokes. It’s very rarified, very difficult to accomplish if you want to be more than just funny and more than just jokes about human gaseousness. Neil Peart
The hardest people to play in front of are my brothers and friends from childhood, because I can never take them seriously. I know when they’re sitting in the stands; it’s constant jokes. They’re just waiting on me to shoot an air ball or dribble the ball off my foot so they can laugh. Jimmy Butler
I do have a treadmill desk in my office, and for a while, I would walk on it while checking email and going through jokes. I haven’t walked on it in probably four months. Now it’s more of an upright dining table for me. At some point, moss will grow over it, birds will build nests, and nature will reclaim the treadmill as its own. Jimmy Kimmel
I recently did the David Letterman Show about my book. He was very serious and made no jokes and it caught me off guard a little bit. He was much more serious than some of the joke shows that journalists get on. Bob Woodward
Everybody that’s living in this earth is living in a situation. It’s not narrow-minded to the point where everybody is serious and nobody has a personality. I think people die telling jokes. Mike Epps
You can’t build a plot out of jokes. You need tragic relief. And you need to let people know that when a lot of frightened people are running around with edged weaponry, there are deaths. Stupid deaths, usually. I’m not writing ‘The A-Team’ – if there’s a fight going on, people will get hurt. Not letting this happen would be a betrayal. Terry Pratchett
I need a woman to have a quirky sense of humor. There’s a bunch of jokes I use, and if she doesn’t get them, she’s probably not for me. Matthew Perry
Nine out of 10 English chefs have their names on their chests. Who do they think they are? They’re dreamers. They’re jokes. Marco Pierre White
I didn’t want to do a throwaway, mindless movie with fart jokes just to make 6-year-olds laugh. I want to provide my children with some substance. Fred Durst
I was a class clown. At 12, I was definitely clowning. I was making all the jokes. But I was smart, so the teachers didn’t know what to do with me. J. Cole
If you keep making jokes like that, somebody is going to shoot you, father. Mary Todd Lincoln
I’m not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh. Kathy Griffin
Nobody calls me a racist when I do redneck jokes. Jeff Foxworthy can do as many ‘You might be a redneck jokes’ as he wants, but I’m telling you as soon as a guy like that does a black joke or something – ‘How dare you!’ I totally think it’s unfair. Carlos Mencia
They’re just jokes, people. They can’t all be funny. Theo Von
I like grown-up comedy, where it’s about character and attitude and life as opposed to obvious gross-out and jokes. Ricky Gervais
I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once. Mitch Hedberg
Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can’t predict what people will laugh at. Steven Wright
If you think something’s funny, go with that. Most comedians pull jokes from a place of honesty. Olivia Munn
It’s okay for me to make jokes about disabled people and people with horrible diseases because they make me uncomfortable, and I don’t want to be like them. Tom Segura
Before doing my first open mic, I was sitting in the back watching all these comedians banter back and forth and fire jokes and up each other, and I thought, ‘This is where I wanna be.’ Patton Oswalt