Welcome to a collection of memorable quotes by the beloved comedian, John Pinette. With his infectious humor and larger-than-life personality, John Pinette left an indelible mark on the world of comedy. Known for his hilarious anecdotes and sharp wit, Pinette’s comedic genius continues to resonate with audiences around the globe.
Born in Boston, Massachusetts, John Pinette embarked on a remarkable journey in the world of stand-up comedy. His unique perspective on everyday situations, coupled with his endearing charm, endeared him to fans worldwide. From his iconic routines about food and travel to his observations on life’s absurdities, Pinette had an unparalleled ability to find humor in the mundane.
Below, you’ll find a compilation of some of John Pinette’s most memorable quotes. Whether you’re looking for a laugh to brighten your day or simply want to reminisce about this comedic legend, these quotes are sure to bring a smile to your face. Feel free to copy them, pair them with an image, or even stylize them with your favorite fonts. Enjoy the wit and wisdom of John Pinette as we celebrate his enduring legacy.
I watch a lot of CNN and the Food Network. Now, I’m learning how to cook healthy – when I was a kid low-fat was a Chinese gangster. John Pinette
Larger people do not get a lot to play in the theater. John Pinette
I want to talk about being a big guy… it’s not a fat joke. It’s a joke about living the way you live. John Pinette
You know, working with puppets – there is just something about it. Because the puppet takes on its own personality. John Pinette
My routine isn’t so much dreaming up the comedy as just seeing what happens to me. I seem to be leading a very funny life. John Pinette
I have a tendency to be larger than life. John Pinette
People have told me, ‘It’s part of your act, you’re big, it’s part of your persona.’ Well, as I’ve lost weight, my act has grown. John Pinette
I eat healthy. The only problem is late-night eating. It’s the Sumo Diet, they eat and go to sleep and that’s how they get them that big. John Pinette
I have issues with food and weight and I can make that funny. The audience loves it. I have fun with it. John Pinette
I really am part whale. I want to do a movie like ‘The Incredible Mr. Limpet’ and join a family of whales. John Pinette
It doesn’t seem like I write the material it seems like the material comes to me and I write it down. John Pinette
You go out, you order a steak. What do they do? They bring you a salad. They don’t even charge you anything for it, cause it ain’t worth anything, cause it ain’t food! John Pinette
Call it fate, call it God, I call it God, but I think that I found what I was comfortable in this world with doing. John Pinette
I knew if I wanted to live past mid-life I would have to lose some weight. John Pinette
I’d done the movie ‘The Punisher,’ and Travolta was in that, though we didn’t have scenes together. We met at the premiere and he’s a very nice man. John Pinette
Vegans go to the store and they buy 50,000-pound bags of almonds. And they make it into stuff they wish they could eat. John Pinette
Gravity is a law. I respect the law. John Pinette
In standup, you look for a common ground that people have. John Pinette
All I’m really doing is talking about going on diets and… just about being a big guy. Why should that be any different from a comic that says, ‘I was an alcoholic,’ or, ‘I was in a bad relationship?’ John Pinette
There’s nothing like live performance. John Pinette
I never dreamed that I would be part of a Broadway show. John Pinette
I really don’t do fat jokes. I talk about the trials and tribulations of being a large mammal in America. John Pinette
In my case, I don’t eat a lot before a show. I eat after. But I do two shows and it becomes part of my reward system. ‘I made people laugh. I deserve a pizza.’ John Pinette
My family is trying to drag me kicking and screaming into the normal world. Please, I live in hotel rooms. John Pinette
Any kind of change in your life creates more material for me, because I say in my act ‘It ain’t comedy, it’s my life.’ John Pinette
I snagged the biggest bandwagon in history. Just when the buffet stuff was running out, now I’m the ‘Seinfeld’ guy. Somebody up there likes me. That’s why I never worry. Something always comes up. John Pinette
I have no problem joking about who I am. John Pinette
I’m one of the larger mammals. Everyone in my family was large, mom and dad, my two older sisters. If you meet a skinny person in my family, you say, ‘And you are married to who?’ John Pinette
I grew up in Malden. Genetically, I was born to be as close to Kelly’s Roast Beef as possible. John Pinette
I walk into a Home Depot and it’s like everything in there needs assembly. I start hyperventilating. I need the inhaler. John Pinette
The best way to become a better stand-up guy is to take a break from it and do other things. John Pinette
I do a bunch of things when I’m in St. Louis. I went on the Anheuser-Busch tour they had to drag me out of there. I walked into that room with the 30,000 gallon keg of beer, and I said, ‘This will be my new home’… I mean, I was genuinely happy. John Pinette
I have no butt, none of the men in my family do. John Pinette
You can learn to be great, you really can. You’ve got to work all the time. John Pinette
When I moved from Boston to L.A., I floundered. I definitely did time at the Improv and the Comedy Store, making 20 bucks a night. I learned how to be a starving comic. I was an in-debt comic: I ate well on loan. John Pinette
When I really want to get healthy people don’t believe me. John Pinette
There’s a lot of life out there. John Pinette
I have to view life comically. It’s the only way I could get through it. John Pinette
I don’t really sing. John Pinette
I grew up poor. To me, interior decorating is my big-screen TV, my couch and my Simpsons poster. John Pinette
I talk about my life; it is the funniest thing I can think of. John Pinette
I don’t think most comics look at their early stuff and think, ‘wow… that was great!’ John Pinette
Ron White is pretty great at what he does. John Pinette
I made $225.81 a week as an accountant, and I went to $400 a week as a stand-up. I was up to $800 a week when I went out to L.A. In L.A., I made $25. John Pinette
I’m not a trained singer, I’m not a trained dancer. John Pinette
I started off doing impressions. It was a comfortable way to get started. John Pinette
Salad isn’t a meal. Salad’s the stuff that comes with a meal. John Pinette
My philosophy in life is just to laugh as much as possible through the good and the bad – to laugh at the tragedies as well as the triumphs. John Pinette
No matter what, I’ll never be tiny. John Pinette
Just coming to L.A. to be a comic and an actor, it’s not the kindest world to come to. There’s a lot of rejection, which I’m not used to. I hate rejection, but it’s about 90 percent of the business. John Pinette
On the set, you do a movie shoot, you go, ‘OK, was that OK, how was that?’ You dont know, you’re not sure. John Pinette
I was raised to believe you eat hamburgers, mashed potatoes and gravy, and cheesecake for dessert. In California they eat tofu burgers, fat-free applesauce and cake with no sugar. Hopefully, in between, there’s a happy medium for me. John Pinette
I went a nutritionist… I walk into his office he goes, ‘Well, the good news is, you can have all the salad you want.’ I don’t want any salad! He wanted me to eat salad. As a food! John Pinette
Singing on Broadway terrified me more than anything I’ve done. John Pinette
Being asked to be in the last episode of ‘Seinfeld’ is not something you pass on. It was a great honor. John Pinette
I take some ungodly pantyhose size. You’ve heard of 2X or 3X. I’m something horrible, like a 47X. John Pinette
I was an accountant for six months, and for the last three, I didn’t do much work. John Pinette
It’s a cliche, but my comedy is all about life. John Pinette
People have been trained to believe that comedy is the five- and 10-minute segments that you see on TV. But in 10 minutes, you can’t really talk about yourself. John Pinette
I liked Jonathan Winters for his character development. John Pinette
All I want to do is entertain. I want to get good laughs and I want to entertain. John Pinette
I do a lot of dialects in my act, including Irish, because I grew up in a neighbourhood that was predominantly Irish and Italian. John Pinette
When you’re big to the point that you’re unhealthy, it’s like you see life through a window. You can look at everything going on, but now I can experience it. John Pinette
I just feel like there are a lot of funny things that happen in this world and I guess that’s for the good and the bad. John Pinette
You see, I’ve always had this thing in that I love to make people laugh, I want to entertain people. John Pinette
The guy who made the shoes for ‘Hairspray’ said putting shoes on me was like putting a pump on a ham. I found out that if I ever was to dress like a woman, I would not be buying off the rack. John Pinette
A great deal of my comedy comes from the trials and tribulations of growing up a big kid in the Boston area. John Pinette
I was a very bad accountant. I knew the book theory, but I didn’t have the heart for it. I did it for six months, and my job was to distract the auditors with jokes. John Pinette
I have had some success. And it’s all been wonderful, and a growing process for me. But it’s nothing to my family compared to being in a musical. John Pinette
I worked at a mortgage company, and after I left, most of the office went to jail. John Pinette
I started swimming. I frolic like Free Willy. John Pinette
I’m a big guy, but I don’t do ‘I’m so fat that… ‘ jokes. John Pinette
I denied my comic thing there for awhile. I always made people laugh, but my family said that’s not the real world, I had to put on a suit and tie and be serious. John Pinette
At home, I have a healthy regular diet… But on the road, you find yourself at 11 o’clock at night, after a great show at a performing-arts center, and there’s nothing open but a pizza place. John Pinette
I would describe my comedy as my skewed comic perception of life. John Pinette
If I was 120 pounds, I still ain’t going white-water rafting. John Pinette
For some reason, people enjoy seeing me lose my cherub-like demeanor. John Pinette
Let’s face it, it’s a skinny world out there. John Pinette
Hollywood has a lot of barriers set up for everyone. If you can live with it, and you can break through, then you’re going to do OK. John Pinette
Sometimes you do have to throw caution to the wind and you really have to not be afraid to suck. John Pinette
I could go out and talk about President Clinton… or some issue, but people will be on either side. But everyone eats. It’s the international language, like Esperanto. John Pinette
Opening for Mr. Sinatra in 1991 enabled me to do Vegas more as an opening act. I did the Superdome with him, probably nine arenas over a year and a half, and his second-to-last appearance at the Desert Inn in Vegas. John Pinette
I’ve been heavy my whole life. I’ve been up and down, and I can tell you that down is much better. John Pinette
I did a lot of dues-paying in L.A. that I didn’t pay in Boston because I was kind of a success there. It was all worth it, I guess. John Pinette
I guest-starred on ‘Alf.’ I played a stand-up comic Howie Anderson. John Pinette